Why pack drugs when you can buy them from locals?

Getting imprisoned in a foreign country has got to rank high among every traveller's nightmare. Miss Schapelle Corby, 30, of Australia will be living that nightmare for about twenty years in a cramp Indonesian cell after being found guilty of trafficking marijuana into the country. Customs officials discovered 9 pounds of the "ganja" in her bodyboard bag.

But don't just imagine the nightmare, watch it! HBO is set to air the documentary "Ganja Queen".

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Think you can chew the Big Apple?

You know NYC is a tough place when Fortune plucks a girl from wonderful Kazahkstan makes her over into a globe trotting cover model and affords her a Manhattan apartment---that's apartment, not 'artist's loft'---only to have her take a flying leap from it.

At twenty years old, Miss Ruslana Kurshunova, was still a good twelve years from a model's mid-life crisis.

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Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way

-Charles Bukowski

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Where gas might cost an arm and a leg

Here's a clue: Se Habla Ingles? TIJUANA!

Yes, Tijuana, the poor man's Mexican getaway and hub of violent Mexican drug cartels is receiving more American motorists as car owners visit south of the border for regular fill-ups. The price of gas in Mexico is cheaper because it's subsidized but there are other heftier costs not found in the U.S.A. gas pumps such as:

1. Long ass waiting lines (time). We may have long lines at times but Mexico has long ass lines. How long ass? Try over an hour long! With no self-service filling stations each automobile is waited on by an attendant...and we all know how wonderful Mexican employees are at customer service.

2. Threats (stress). Drug violence, wild west shootings, white slavery...and that's just the morning police blotter. As one San Diego retiree reasoned, "I know they could kill me or kidnap me, but the cost of filling my tank in the United States is just too much." Right. So...he's willing to give his life for cheaper oil. Hell, sign gramps up for the army! Why get snuffed by a Mexican rancher when you can die in honor from a suicide bomber?

3. Violence (health). With the intense heat beaming down on you, exhaust fumes swirling up your nostrils, and homespun civility of ever anxious Californians it's bound to come to fisticuffs. Booyah! Frustrated drivers shout and curse at each other and some even throw blows. Also, foreigners make attractive prey for organized gangs as well as desperate natives. At last count, border towns are the most chaotic and Tijuana leads the country in homicides which stands at more than 1001, and this is just early summer.

I suggest my readers avoid more than the water in Tijuana.

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