The Black Cat (Antigua)

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You won't find a better place to hang your hat -- if that's all you plan on doing.

Sleep, rest, civil international discourse aren't on the menu at Black Cat. The hostel is the proverbial frat house abroad, making it the ideal place for loud bimbos, loud dipsomaniacs, surly ex-military stooges (vide infra), and poverty-loving hippies.

The staff are not the friendliest and come off like spoiled assholes

Antigua, per se, is a pretty and relaxing city full of ruins (or just poorly constructed churches), cobble stone roads, and a variety of eateries, including Subway and Burger King. Local businesses are good about arranging various tours to experience the country's national highlights, and everything is super affordable. Being Third World, Antigua lacks upstanding plumbing and good customer service so one might anticipate being "earthy" for several hours -the hostel was without running water for two or three days! - and should not concern himself with tipping, respectively.

That said, the outside is still more agreeable than staying at The Black Cat. The staff are not the friendliest by far and come off like spoiled assholes. One American worker, who looks a lot like a guy in Dirk Yates videos, was cold and curt with most everyone who spoke to him. He even questioned one guest's sexuality just because the man asked him to turn down the heavy metal at breakfast.

Speaking of which, that's the only gem of the place: the breakfast menu. Breakfast is included in the stay and comes in hardy portions so it's worth waking up for! If you're civilized enough to bunk elsewhere you can still pop over and order breakfast from the price menu. Just don't ask them to substitute toast for bagel. That is too, too bothersome a request for the staff. In fact, any request was greeted with a huff and scowl. Pricks.