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Saturday, August 22, 2009

The infamous Reeperbahn sucks (Hamburg)

Posted on 4:33 PM by Unknown
-

Hamburg's Reeperbahn Avenue was probably the shit back when polyester and 8-tracks ruled but now it's just shit. As far as its red light district intrigue goes it is still the locale for smut and sleazy thrills but I wouldn't unzip my fly in that district to take a piss let alone penetrate anyone. Holy snikes!

At night it is tacky, crowded and loud. From every building protrudes cheesy neon signs bright and big. In the day time the Reeperbahn is plain tacky and, worse, ugly because there isn't night to cover it. The "sexy girls" posters are all faded and resplendent with hair dos from the '80s. So un-sexy. My hunch is the girls are desperate Eastern Europeans or other waifs ensnared by the Russian mafia. And they either look old or under fed. I couldn't possibly contribute to white slavery.
I wouldn't unzip my fly in that district to take a piss

One bar absolutely refused me entry due to the color of my skin. The supposedly private party was open to everyone else in our group which included two Bavarian girls, two white southern males from Atlanta, two Englishmen and an English girl. We were all offended and went to the claustrophobic 99cent Bar instead, where all shots cost just ninety-nine cents; and I played Sinatra's Something Stupid on the jukebox. But, of course, as every non-black person and homosexual informs me, racism no longer exists.

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