The Adelaide (San Francisco)

It bills itself as "A quiet retreat in the heart of San Francisco." For the most part it is just that, indeed.

Set in a short dead end alleyway - apparently such passes for streets according to local topography - the Adelaide is a bit tricky to find if one doesn't follow the directions just right (Isadora Duncan Lane, named for a famed actress, does not appear on many maps!) An eclectic all-white staff offer very friendly service and maintain a clean, warm, professionally run hostel. Most appeared to vibe to the punk or hipster scene of which one will find oodles in S.F.

The hostel serves home-cooked meals every evening for a modest bill of $5! Bedrooms are fine. Beds include clean linen. Bathrooms are kept clean and stocked.

In the lobby are free computers plus another two in the lounge/reading room which is furnished with big comfortable contemporary couches and nicely framed photographs (of local artists, I imagine).

Bedrooms are fine. Beds include clean linen. Bathrooms are kept clean and stocked. I even spent a night in Alcatraz, one of two larger dorm rooms, and it, too, was fine. These bunks were fashioned like berths found in sleeping cars or ships with reading lamps and curtains for privacy. Downstair is the TV room which doubles as the commons/eating area. Great concept if everyone is watching the Super Bowl but, otherwise, the arrangement sucks for anyone keen on actually hearing the movie. The very large kitchen is also a plus. The hostel serves home-cooked meals every evening for a modest bill of $5.00.

People do not live nowadays. They get about ten percent out of life.
Isadora Duncan

One huge turn-off was the old lady owner who mumbles to herself most of the time and the two children who never tired of running and playing. No, lady, your children are not cute.

5 Isadora Duncan Lane (94102)
415.359.1915
www.adelaidehostel.com

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Mikaso Hotel (Lake Atitlán)

After being use to the cheap prices of Guatemala one would be inclined to pass on the Mikaso Hotel for being "pricey". At USD$8 for a dorm room it is one of the more expensive lodgings in San Pedro la Laguna (Lake Atitlán).

The hot water is not always hot but the customer service is!

Inside and out, the hotel is clean, comfortable, luxurious with beautiful tiling, plush furniture, big mattresses, white linen. It sits on the lakefront---translation: nice breezes and gorgeous vista---and has a private homemade dock which many guests find enjoyable for reading, sun bathing, or just dangling their feet into the water.

Party animals have no shortage of nearby entros but, thankfully, the hotel itself is a classy refuge from the bustling excess

The hot water is not always hot but the customer service is. Atop is a bar restaurant. The area has magazines, board games, and balcony seating to take in more of the lake and mountain views. Throughout Mikaso are many "nooks" to sit and read in peace. Party animals have no shortage of nearby entros but, thankfully, the hotel itself is a classy refuge from the bustling excess.

It is a little hard to access but worth it. And, anyway, one can always hire a zippy tuk-tuk (Shanghai taxi) to get one there. Fare is only Q5 (5 Quetzales = less than a USD) to go anywhere around the lake.

www.mikasohotel.com
+502 5973.3129

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The Black Cat (Antigua)

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You won't find a better place to hang your hat -- if that's all you plan on doing.

Sleep, rest, civil international discourse aren't on the menu at Black Cat. The hostel is the proverbial frat house abroad, making it the ideal place for loud bimbos, loud dipsomaniacs, surly ex-military stooges (vide infra), and poverty-loving hippies.

The staff are not the friendliest and come off like spoiled assholes

Antigua, per se, is a pretty and relaxing city full of ruins (or just poorly constructed churches), cobble stone roads, and a variety of eateries, including Subway and Burger King. Local businesses are good about arranging various tours to experience the country's national highlights, and everything is super affordable. Being Third World, Antigua lacks upstanding plumbing and good customer service so one might anticipate being "earthy" for several hours -the hostel was without running water for two or three days! - and should not concern himself with tipping, respectively.

That said, the outside is still more agreeable than staying at The Black Cat. The staff are not the friendliest by far and come off like spoiled assholes. One American worker, who looks a lot like a guy in Dirk Yates videos, was cold and curt with most everyone who spoke to him. He even questioned one guest's sexuality just because the man asked him to turn down the heavy metal at breakfast.

Speaking of which, that's the only gem of the place: the breakfast menu. Breakfast is included in the stay and comes in hardy portions so it's worth waking up for! If you're civilized enough to bunk elsewhere you can still pop over and order breakfast from the price menu. Just don't ask them to substitute toast for bagel. That is too, too bothersome a request for the staff. In fact, any request was greeted with a huff and scowl. Pricks.

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Frankfurt Hostel (Germany)

Squarely situated steps in front of the main train station (Hauptbahnhof), this hostel is super easy to find.

The hostel accepts cash and walk-ins sans penalty. The Front Desk staff were polite, helpful, and spoke clear English. A good flow of travellers passed through. One even regularly tinkled the ivory of the piano in the Commons, adding a soothing, cultural air to the visit. Wi-fi is available in the Commons but if you haven't a laptop it's better to go out to an Internet cafe than use the computer terminals in the hostel. When I was there more than a couple of people complained about the machines taking their money.

Rates were about 18 to 20 euros for dorm rooms. The first two nights I slept in a dorm room with private bathroom and shower and paid 20 euros then was switched to a smaller room with shared bath---for two euros less.

Wasn't much to look at in town, though, and, in fact, the neighborhood tended toward dodgy.

Apparently the hostel is smack in the middle of a red light district. This was one un-alluring red light district!

In walking around to pass the boredom, I happened upon the building where Oscar Schendler resided in his later years. A plague by the door marks the fact. It's a good idea to do the guided walking or club-hopping tours 0ffered by the hostel.

Beware of the smarmy men and boys who linger about the building entrance. Sometimes they even loitered on the steps inside to escape the cold. Note: Men who loiter all day (especially in cold weather) are undoubtedly up to no good and probably good for nothing. Furthermore, these cats did not appear the least bit Teutonic. Hmmm....

+49 (0)692.475.130

Kaiserstrasse 74, 60329, Frankfurt am Main

www.frankfurt-hostel.com

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Big Apple Hostel Istanbul (Istanbul)

This is a very nice
place to stay. It is directly across the cobblestone street from Bahaus Guesthouse and I moved into it for variety's sake after three nights at the Bahaus.

Rates start at €10. The hostel is clean, well lighted, and all the staff speak English. In the lobby is cable television and free Internet. The connection speed was decent. The hostel is not, however, centrally heated so if you visit during the winter try to get a room with a heater in it. I did. A couple of German tourists, though, were not so fortunate and angrily demanded a refund and left. I don't blame 'em.

Beats me why some hostels charge for blankets when they know it is as stable as wanting a clean mattress or working toilet. Would you stand for a hotel that charged extra for the pleasure of a working toilet? Thought so.

My room was like the one pictured above. I shared it with an Australian dude and Canadian couple. The bathroom and shower were located in the hall. (The shower had a timer on it so was very frustrating to work in a hot bath. Thank goodness several hamams are nearby!)

The upper floor houses the restaurant/bar where a complimentary Turkish breakfast is available each morning not to mention a view of the sea. Very calming way to break one's fast. Ahhh, the drunken nights we enjoyed in that space.

One serious note of criticism, however, must be given to the undignified way the staff bribe good reviews from guests. Backpackers aren't a lot to pass up a free night but the fact that the workers sit beside the guest as he types good things onto HostelWorld.com makes the act even more skunky. The hostel and customer service are nice enough that they don't have to resort to such tricks. Oh those Turks!

Akbiyik Caddesi Bayramfirin Sok no: 12, Sultanahmet

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Turkish tourist scams

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When in Turkey beware of friendly people. 
This sounds hard-hearted but conventional wisdom reminds us to step back and ask, Why would anyone be so nice to me? Single men are especially warned to be vigilant against friendly strangers...a warning about which I didn't learn until the day after my troubles.

Read about my (mis)adventures in Shitstanbul.
First incident. 
Second incident.

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Bahaus Guesthouse (Istanbul)

I decided upon Bauhaus---practically ran into the place---after a racist blip interrupted my travel plans and forced me to remain in Shitstanbul longer than planned.

At 12 euros for a four bed room it was really nice and even nicer since only one other bed was occupied so it was like having my own room. Nicer still, the room came with heat and blankets. I especially liked, too, that breakfast was included upstair in the pasha-esque lounge. Bauhaus had nice staff and free (and fast!) Internet and wireless access.

Oh yeah, there's also a restaurant on site. I never ate anything more than the breakfast but the daily menus sounded appetizing and were priced cheaply.


Akbiyik Cadessi, Bayramfirin Sokak No: 11 Sultanahmet

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